I was about to craft an Instagram post about not breaking. I looked at this picture of myself -- almost 50 years old and not cracking. Then I said 'Well Ree, you actually did crack. But you didn't break.' So I started writing.... "I refuse to break. I bent. I swayed. I fell down. I got stuck. Hell, I am stuck. I lashed out. I even cracked. But I did not break. I got close..right up to the line of broken-beyond-repair and therapeutically-severed...." That's where I stopped writing.
Those are lies. I broke. I AM broken. I won't be the same. At the end of this, I might be better, or I might end up worse. Stop being afraid to break.
Therapeutic brokenness is just what the doctor ordered for a lot fo us. Normalize being broken from adulterous betrayal. Normalize feeling vindictive when you've been violated. Normalize taking your time to forgive. Normalize not understanding prayer when yours go unanswered. Normalized feeling like it's too late when you've reached a certain age and life seems to have passed you by. Normalize the hurt and embarrassment of having a prodigal child. Normalize longing for experiences, people, goals, and things that seem unattainable and feeling lost.
Normalize the normal human desire to demand fidelity and loyalty from the people that promised it to you.
I'm normal. That's why I broke.
But, I am a Burton, and I'm putting all the pieces back together. Honestly, I think Nyles expected nothing less.