“Let me divorce you real quick so I can be a better father to them and a better friend to you.” “I’ve been wanting to fuck every woman I’ve seen since I met you.”
“I don’t know where you got **that** from."
Through these comments and more I was encouraged to be strong. I knew what was meant by “be strong." Move past it, forgive, don’t let it bother me, accept it for what it is, don't let my kids see my hurt, put a time limit on the grief and keep walking.
I knew I had to keep walking. But I knew from experience that the only way to walk through this time was to do it in fear, and through tears, and to do it in all honesty to my feelings without concern for anyone else. I knew that keeping quieting and moving through wasn’t going to help me. I had been doing that for too long.
I'll let you in on what I’m sure is a not so secret side of me…I’m still hurt. I still cry. I still can’t believe it. It’s so much easier to process that he’s had mental breakdown that to believe that he—the Nyles Burton I knew— would do this to me … his boomskittle, his Reba, “My Love”, his “CocoaButter”… that was my stripper name. Fella’s do you give your wives a stripper name when you aren’t happy?
To keep walking successfully, I had to redefine being a strong woman. My daughters were watching.
In this week’s episode, I talk abut that redefinition. I haven’t figured it all out yet, but I continue to let myself be a work in progress. I couldn’t look my baby in the face and go along with her father’s narrative. I also couldn’t not help others. Here’s some of the ways I plan to continue being a strong woman.
It’s time to Make Adultery Gross Again. I’ve added more goals to my extremely large plate. I plan to start working to identify ways the laws can change to protect women- and men- from financial abandonment after long term marriages. Laws that include being able to sue husbands and their skanks for the transmission of diseases. Laws that include being able to sue husband’s for inflicting emotional distress by lying in over the top ways on the way out. Changing the law to recognize that alimony is not a privilege in a long term marriage it is my right. I should be able to maintain my alimony and marry again. Laws that recognize the mental health of the left behind children.
I plan to build my Youtube content. Not because I want to be a youtube star, but because in the middle of the night that’s where hurting hearts are going for understanding and a distraction. I’ll continue with the videos of 100 ways not to get screwed in a divorce, but I’m going to add conversations with others about the stuff we don’t want to say.
The Kriscia Fund
The fund has been official for almost a year now, and our first event will be in January. I plan to make sure that that women getting ”Krisica’d” out here are getting the information and support they need to fight in court or a counselor’s office or even in pastoral care. My goal is to respond to what the families feel the next best step for their family/marriage is.
Me As An Author
There are more books to follow. My next book is a journal, “I’ll Walk With You”, and it will be released next year. I can’t wait for that to come out. I’ll continue to be a voice for my children and for me, I will never top working on keeping Mr. Bitter at bay, but Ms. Petty? Nah. She my roommate now.
My friend Rob posted a very thoughtful message on his Facebook Page. He linked to this video.... Yeah... that's it Rob... you get it. This is me; I am Rose Maxon. Minus the snot though. Your girl wouldn't have all the snot on my face unchecked.