Updated: Mar 25, 2020
I want to begin this blog with a series called 'My Why's". First up, some may ask why I have entered the public speaking and coaching arena? Well, I’ve always been in this arena. I’ve been leading workshops and coaching families for nearly two decades. My talks have centered around home education, motherhood, and accomplishing goals. I took time away from that work to heal after my husband left our marriage in 2018. You know the saying “Physician, heal thyself”? Well, that’s what I set out to do.
He said, “I never loved you.”
This drove me to the ground in grief. In my despair, I wasted away in my bed, losing nearly 100 pounds in five months. In that fifth month, I received a rare call from my husband, but his tone was rude and unfamiliar. Then and there, I decided to figure out what went wrong. I eventually learned of his affair with Manrique’s wife. It all made sense now.
Out of devastation came clarity. For the first time, I saw the double standards, burdens, and stereotypes that imprisoned me. I had a new (albeit unwanted) platform of expertise: betrayal, separation, and divorce. Then I realized that other women were locked in that same jail. My realizations—and theirs—remain the keys to escape.
Initially, I felt that I was no longer qualified to speak on family issues because he left, because I was cheated on, because I did not handle his abandonment well. How could I continue to provide hope and solutions to home educators and their students? The more I healed and the more I thought about the absolute baseness of what I had overcome, my perspective changed. I now believed, "How could I not"? I knew I had to get the courage to not only continue speaking about home education, but to also speak honestly about what really happened to my family.
My husband's abandonment did not rob me of my gifting or my purpose. Giving in would have been giving both him and his affair partner way too much power. In fact, I was proud of how I handled it. I deserved what he received from me. I deserved a husband who loved me that much to be driven to absolute madness with worry for me.
So, here I am, sharing my experience with you.